Podcast Transcript:
Here are the five characteristics of doers and highly successful people. Plus a parenting tip on raising cooperative Children that you didn’t even know you needed. Stay tuned for this episode.
Hey, there, I’m Jillian Kendrick and welcome to the Momentum Marketing podcast. I’m a mama, a wife, an entrepreneur and a three time best selling co-author in each episode. You’ll get real world practical advice and strategies and maybe a parenting tip or two along the way. If you’re ready to create a business that supports your family and your lifestyle, then you’re in the right place.
Hey, there, I’m so excited that you’re here with me today talking about being a doer, talking about being a highly productive, highly successful human being, whether it’s in your own personal life, in the workplace, as a parent, as a mama, as an entrepreneur, whatever your deal is, you’re gonna wanna stay tuned for this one and I apologize in advance for my super sexy raspy voice, something, some bug, some germ hit our house two weekends ago and I’m just grateful right now to be recording this for you and coming up from air, we spent much of several days in bed watching episodes of, I don’t even know what hopped up on lots of Theraflu and mu thank God for medicine. And my husband and I laying there in bed going.
You still alive?
Yeah.
You still alive?
Yeah.
Where’s the child?
I don’t know.
But he’s alive too.
Ok.
Taking turns napping, taking turns running to get food, ordering pizza, just doing whatever we had to do to survive for the last several days. So, anyhow, I’m so excited to be here with you, apologize for the voice, but we’ll get through it. And like I said, today, we are talking about the five characteristics of highly successful, high achieving doers and human beings. Plus the parenting tip for raising a cooperative base that you didn’t even know you needed. But before we get into it, as always, wherever you get your podcast, make sure that you hit the plus button, the subscribe button, the like button, it really, really helps me and gives me great feedback to know that there are people out there who want this information and that helps me to continue to give you and provide you with as much value as I possibly can. It also helps all of the podcast gods out there to know that you’re enjoying this podcast and that it can reach other people as well. So make sure you hit that like and subscribe button if you’ve enjoyed any of this so far and don’t forget, stay tuned, not only for future episodes, but look back at past episodes, we’ve got some really, really good nuggets in here for you guys.
So what does it mean to be a doer? And I want to preface just by saying, I know that I said highly successful, high achieving people. I just want to preface and say whatever that means for you at whatever life you’re living, whatever lifestyle you want to live, whatever stage of life, life that you are in and whatever you are most capable of. I just want to preface and give you the permission that whatever you want to define that as is exactly how it should be and what it should be in order to work for you inside of your life. So going back to the last several days when I was sick to be my best self and achieve the most that I could achieve in that day, or in those days while I was sick, I could do very little. I could basically take care of myself, make sure the baby was ok and had an ipad in front of him and try to go back to sleep or hang out on the couch with him and do nothing. And my house was trash, both sinks were completely filled with dishes, our standards of living and the way that we normally operate just went completely out the window because we needed to get healthy and needed to take care of ourselves and our son.
And that was the best and most I could achieve given that state of my life at the time. And I just want to say, and give you permission that whatever state of life you’re in, whatever phase of life you’re in, whatever you’re going through. If high achieving for you means I just need to get through the day and get into tomorrow, then God bless you do it. If high achieving for you means record two podcasts and go make $20,000 and put your house on the market and move across the country and start two new businesses and hire an au pair, or like, whatever you’ve got going on and you can achieve that in a day. Amazing, go do it. That’s awesome. But I just want to say whatever that looks like for you, whatever high achieving and successful means for you don’t let anybody else, especially not my definition define what yours should be. Don’t compare your start or your middle to anybody else’s middle or end.
So now the five characteristics of what it means to be highly successful, high achieving doer, number one doers take action and don’t wait for other people’s permission or approval. I think it’s almost ingrained into us. And especially if you’ve got baby boomer parents or you were raised in a certain way that it’s important as a child and that’s when your frontal lobe isn’t fully developed. And you’re learning about the world and you’re understanding what it means to be in the world and to be you and to be around other people. And that’s where my parenting tip is headed. And you guys are going to get that in just a little bit for me.
But I think that when you’re raised in a certain way, especially if you’re coming from a big family like mine or parents of immigrants or parents who have gone through wars, stuff like that. Grandparents who have gone through wars drop in my own trauma in here today. That’s all right. But it’s true like all of that really, really affects us. It does, whether we want to admit it or understand it or not. It does.
But doers take action and don’t wait for other people’s permission or approval, I think too often, especially in the school system, especially being raised and being Children who are taught to either comply or cooperate. We are conditioned as human beings to get someone’s approval. Hey, I mean, do this with my own son. Maybe I should, maybe I shouldn’t. But there are plenty of times he has to get my approval to get a certain snack or he has to get my approval to get milk or he has to get my approval right to go do anything. I mean, he’s three. So there’s that factor in it as well, but he has to, in order to get something from me and I’m conditioning him in that way because it’s age appropriate right now. And I hope as he grows and as I mature as his mom, that my husband and I can grow into a phase of parenting that allows him more of that autonomy to then choose to be cooperative rather than being compliant, rather than looking to us for our permission or approval for something. And granted, there are age appropriate versions of that. There are phases of that throughout life. But I really hope that as a mom I can mature with and grow with teaching him those things that are age and behavior appropriate for him and give him a little bit of that leeway and leniency in order to make decisions and to not need an external source, even a parent to say yes, that’s good. Ok, good boy. Go ahead. He needs that now as a toddler but definitely not long term that will not serve him on the days that his parents are no longer around. And as a parent, that’s what I’m preparing him for. He doesn’t exist to fill my heart and my needs as a broken human, I exist to pour everything that I have into him being a more whole human than I and to do that. He needs to be able eventually to make decisions without my approval, without my permission, without me saying, oh yes, that’s a good idea. Ok, go ahead. But doers take action without waiting for permission without waiting for approval, without having to hear. Oh yes, that’s a good idea. And we totally do it even to this day, I’m very guilty of this. We have an idea and it’s a brilliant idea if I do say so myself joking, of course. But I will go to some of my girlfriends and say, hey, what do you think of this? And hey, is this a good idea? And then I will sit there and wait for their approval, which is ridiculous. I don’t need anybody’s approval. I’m a grown ass woman. I can go and do whatever I want. But I think that if you’re a certain age, if you were raised in the school system, if you were raised in a certain way, you’ve been kind of taught and conditioned, you have to get approval, you have to get permission. You have to wait until somebody gives you the thumbs up, or gives you the green light to go ahead and do something. And that’s just simply not true. That’s just trauma and baggage from our own story and our own narrative that somebody who is a doer does not wait for somebody who is a doer, somebody who wants to achieve somebody who is going to be successful at that thing. That person does not need permission. That person does not need approval. I haven’t met a single doer or a single successful person in my life or our colleague of mine who sets out to do anything and goes, this is 100% a sure thing and it absolutely will not fail forever and ever. Amen. Let’s go.
And I think that’s what leads us to point number two is that doers are willing to fail. And in fact, they expect it. So, not only are they willing to fail and they’re giving themselves that permission to fail, but then they’re also expecting it, they’re expecting something to go down. They’ve been around long enough. If you’ve done enough, if you’ve tried enough, if you have been your own definition of successful for long enough or enough times, you understand that nothing is a sure in nothing is a guarantee in this world or in this life or especially in business that you have to try, you have to iterate and pivot and move and change and adapt it. Da da da, da, da, da, da, all the things doers take action without permission or approval and they are willing to fail to the point that they even expect it. So, so, so, so important. I think I shared this quote before, but I will say it again because it is on my desk and I stare at it multiple times every single day. Renee Brown said we cannot be brave with our lives if we’re not willing to show up and be seen when we can’t control the outcome and failure or lack of permission is part of that narrative of not controlling the outcome. Of course, we want everything to succeed. But it doesn’t always, in fact, my hope for you and this is kind of reverse engineering. But hear me out, my hope for you is that you have 200 bad ideas and one really, really, really good idea that gets you to exactly where you want to be.
And the reason that I hope that for you is not for you to have 200 failures and one success. I hope that for you so that you understand that there’s a process, it’s the iterating. It’s the trying, it’s the forward momentum that doers understand in a way that people who just pass through this life don’t get, they don’t get to feel that if you’re listening to this and you feel like you’re a doer. Welcome my friend. You are among 2 to 3% of the entire population of this planet. If you’re listening to this and you’re like, yeah, you’re not my thing, then you’re probably the other 97 or 98%. And that’s ok too. Just know your people, know your lane, know your tribe, know what you’re going after and where you want to be. Again, defining for yourself, what success looks like.
Ok, five characteristics of doers. This is number three doers don’t need direction or at least a whole lot of direction to get going or get things done. There’s totally this idea. And again, I’m completely guilty of this. I’ve had a lot of this in my life and have had to overcome it in order to achieve the success that I’ve achieved. But a lot of people, they want that road map, they want that step by step procedural guideline for being successful. And the fact of the matter is it doesn’t exist. Sure, I can give you a blueprint of what I’ve done. Sure I can teach you something. Sure, I can sell you a course or a program or whatever it is. And all of those things will be helpful tools along the way. No one, no one, on this planet can tell you, exactly you, the precise way that you can be successful or that you can be happy or that you can earn enough money or have the respect or fill the void or do the thing that it is that you want to do. And a lot of floaters, a lot of people who are just out there in the world who aren’t doers who don’t do the thing who don’t want it or feel it or have the hunger that you do. They look for things called excuses. And one of those excuses is, well, I need the blueprint. I need a guideline. I need direction. I need to know exactly what step to take every step of the way. I need a GPS for success. No one in this world except for you can tell you exactly what success is going to look like for your life. Now, if you decide that growing your list and automating your business is the thing that’s going to get you a step towards the right direction of success or is going to be the tool that helps you on your way to being successful or your definition of successful. Well, I can help with that because I have programs that do that. I have a team that does those things. But if you’re walking around this planet looking for a gps to success avenue, it only exists within yourself. Nobody else can do that for you. And doers don’t need direction from somebody else to be successful or to get that thing done. They start, they start now, they figure it out, they iterate, they fail, they pick themselves back up, and they keep going. Very easily said. Very, very, very painfully done.
Characteristic number four that I want to share with you today is doers say what they will do and they do what they will say. All that boils down to then is integrity.
I genuinely believe in my heart of hearts and in everything that I have. If we do not have our integrity, we have nothing. You can have all the perceived success in the entire world. You can have all of the money, you can have whatever else, everybody else’s definition of success is for you. If you don’t say what you do and then do what you say you’ll do if you don’t have that integrity within you. I believe that that leads to a life of very short term gains and very, very long term losses.
Because at the end of it, all, only person who is truly responsible for carrying the burden of their integrity is ourselves doers successful people, high achieving human beings say what they’re going to do and then they follow those words up by actions, even when it’s not in their best benefit, even when it means that it screws them over, they remain in integrity every single day.
Characteristic of a doer number five, last one that I have here for you, doers see something wrong in the world, whether it is a problem, an injustice or an issue, and they are always always willing to make a change, even if they know that the only change that they can make is within themselves. So as an entrepreneur, it’s very easy for me to say if you want to sell a product or if you want to sell a service, go out there and find a problem, be the solution to that problem and sell that solution super easy. And honestly, that’s what the best entrepreneurs in the world do. Whether the problem is a solution already exists. And I have a better one. That’s a great solution, whether the problem is a solution doesn’t exist and I’m going to be the solution or I’m going to sell a product for that solution or my service will be that solution. That’s really great too. That’s a great way to market yourself or your product or service. Or if there’s some kind of true problem or injustice in the world, even if they know that the only thing that they can change is their mind or their heart, they’re willing to make that change. They know what’s right. Sometimes in life, we come into situations where we know that we cannot change the other person. We cannot teach the integrity that we want to teach or cannot teach the integrity that we know that that person needs or is lacking, but that’s not our job. But what we can change is us. What we can control is our behavior up next.
My parenting tip that you didn’t even know that you needed. Let’s talk about raising Children who are compliant versus kids who are cooperative. I follow an amazing woman on Instagram. She is @Attachmentnerd and I think her website is attachmentnerd.com. She is awesome. I really adore her content. She is some incredible stuff and she made a post today talking about the difference between compliance and cooperation. Compliance is when someone or in this case, a child does the thing that you want to do out of the or need to please or need for approval without gumption or consideration of how it affects themselves or their relationship with you. Compliance is I’m going to do this thing because I was told not because I want to, not because I care not because I believe that it’s right or wrong, but, I have been forced or willed into submission to do this thing. That’s compliance. Cooperation she defines in I’m paraphrasing of course. But cooperation she defines as a child having understanding of what is happening and then making the choice to then do the right thing. And when you raise compliant Children, you will almost always have the thing that goes your way. But it’s done. Not out of love, it’s done out of fear. When you raise cooperative children, you will still get meltdowns, you will still get kids who don’t want to listen because you’ve taught them that they have the free will and the autonomy to choose to do the right thing. And kids, Children, teenagers don’t always choose to do the right thing. That’s why they’re still growing and learning. Heck, I know adults who don’t always choose to do the right thing. I’m sure we all do. But, in hearing her words again, Attachment Nerd. She’s awesome. She gives the great example of understanding that raising cooperative Children doesn’t come without its pains or issues. She said it takes years to master, but it also means that your child won’t be pushed over. And I really think that that comes back to raising doers as parents or if you’re not a parent and maybe you’re just a human going through this life experience. That’s ok too. But do you want to be or do you want to raise kids who come instantly seek other people’s permission or approval? Do you want to be or do you want to raise kids who aren’t willing to fail and expect to be absolute and successful at every single thing that they do knowing full well that that’s not real life. Do you want to be or do you want to raise kids who are in constant need of direction? And questions aren’t willing to get their hands dirty? Have to get a blueprint for life recipe for doing anything and aren’t willing to figure it out for themselves? Do you want to be or do you want to raise kids who aren’t in integrity with themselves, with their colleagues, with their coworkers, with their spouses? And do you want to raise kids or do you want to be someone who, when they see an issue, problem, or injustice in this world, they decide that there’s nothing that they can do and they walk away from it. I really do believe that the hard work of raising kids who are cooperative, who choose to do the right thing and remain in integrity with themselves. Their parents and their values and their beliefs is far better than far harder for sure, but far better than the easy road of being a compliant driven parent whose child fears failure, needs a constant approval and direction, and because of that is willing to compromise their integrity, to maintain relationships. I know this is kind of a heavy topic, but thank you for going on this journey with me. It’s been kind of weighing on my heart lately, especially going into new phases of motherhood and parenthood, going through different life situations with people in our family, in our lives. Thank you for being on this journey with me.
And if listening to this has brought you any value, improved your life or given you insight to help grow your business or your family and build momentum, then please share it with a friend and I’ll see you on the next episode.
The Momentum Marketing Podcast
By Jillian Kendrick
Episode: #12
Topic: 5 Characteristics of Doers
Contact: hello@jilliankendrick.com
Follow IG: instagram.com/automatedmama
